Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
