Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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