Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize