Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
