I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
