out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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