Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
