I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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