Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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