I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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