just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
