Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
