Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
