that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
