Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
