I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
