He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
