Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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