ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
