i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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