What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was confusing and full of hummus
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
