Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
