Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
