Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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