I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
