if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize