The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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