8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Barsexuality is the new black.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
