Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
