I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize