So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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