It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
