i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
