your room smells of hookers.
And success
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
