In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
