We're like a lot better than the average bears
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
