If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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