I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
