All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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