college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
