I'm drive I can fine osifer
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
