sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's blow job season.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
