Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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