if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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