My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
