we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
4 words: hood of his car
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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