He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
