I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
