i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
