She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
