I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
