I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize