no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
