you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize