SEEEEXXX PLEASE
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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