I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
