We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
