We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
