some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
