i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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