My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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